


Resistentialism

by Elizabeth Culmer (edenfalling)



Series: The Way of the Apartment Manager [8]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Cute, Families of Choice, Family, Fluff, Gen, Pre-Canon, Prompt Fic, Side Story, Silly, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-04
Updated: 2010-02-04
Packaged: 2018-02-23 15:19:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2552300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/edenfalling/pseuds/Elizabeth%20Culmer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Personifying inanimate objects can be hazardous to your mental health, especially when Naruto is around.  (Part of the "Apartment Manager" AU.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Resistentialism

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Aishuu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aishuu/gifts).



> **1)** This is a comment!fic for [Aishuu](http://aishuu.livejournal.com), in response to the prompt: _I wonder, though, how much [Yukiko] has fixated on her apartment complex as another "precious person?" I'd wager she treats it like a pet._ **2)** Resistentialism is the theory that inanimate objects are out to get us. It is mostly tongue-in-cheek... but not entirely so. **3)** This story is set between [The Way of the Apartment Manager](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1120050/chapters/2257065) and "The Guardian in Spite of Herself," probably in the spring before the Uchiha massacre.

"Nice building, good building. _Please_ stop springing radiator leaks and breaking boilers; there's a limit to how much I can spend on you and still afford the mortgage on the place next door. _Nice_ building..." Yukiko gave the valve one last twist with her wrench and carefully uncoiled herself from her awkward crouch in the basement corner.

Behind her, Naruto giggled. "Buildings aren't alive, Yukiko-neechan."

"That's what you think, kid," Yukiko said, pressing her hands against the small of her back and wincing. Next time, she was making Yusuke do the repairs -- honestly, what was she paying him for if he disappeared on frivolous dates every time she needed him?

"That's what I know," Naruto said. He laced his hands behind his head and frowned at the heating pipes. Steam hissed briefly from the boiler's escape valve, and condensation trickled down the concrete wall behind the too-hot-to-touch pipes. "But if buildings _were_ alive, maybe this one's mad at you."

"Tell me something I don't know," Yukiko grumbled, dropping the wrench into her toolbox. "I swear, I have never had as many problems with the heating system in my life as we've had this past year. I know the damn building's doing it on purpose. I just can't figure out why."

Naruto bounced on his toes and grinned, waving one hand like he wanted to be called on in class. "I know, I know! That's easy, Yukiko-neechan -- it's jealous!"

Yukiko blinked. Huh?

Naruto barreled on. "You used to spend all your time thinking about the building, but now you've got me and Iruka and Naga and even the building next door you just bought, and I bet this building feels lonely. So it's breaking stuff to make you pay attention to it again. That's what I'd do, if I were a building." He nodded decisively. "Yeah, that's 'zactly what I'd do -- 'cause it's working! Our building's smart!"

"...I thought you didn't believe buildings were alive?" Yukiko managed after a dumbfounded moment.

"Well, I thought so, but you're right -- it makes lots more sense if the building's breaking the radiators on purpose," Naruto said. Then he frowned. "Hey, hey, does that mean my refrigerator's mad at me when the milk goes bad?"

Yukiko leaned her head against the grimy, condensation-slicked wall and groaned.


End file.
